Star Dater: Mary Connealy!

Wow, Myra, you're letting a pure romantic like me write on your blog? Brave woman.

Myra knows me well enough to be very afraid.

Have you ever heard that women don't keep store of a man's affection by the cost of the gifts but rather by the number of romantic gifts?

I've heard that. Like a man gets as much 'credit' for bringing home one rose as a dozen. A woman is as touched by a necklace with one pearl as a whole string.

I believe that's true and I'll tell you why.

I have this little plaque sitting on my writing desk. It's about three inches tall and it looks like a double picture frame, hinged in between the two frames, standing up.

It's glass painted all over with roses and on one side, like a greeting card, it says:

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13

That little excerpt from the Love Chapter in Corinthians on rosy glass is a gift from my husband.

I would bet big money the man doesn't even remember giving it to me. But it's been sitting on my writing desk for…maybe twenty years. I don't remember much about the circumstances of receiving the gift except he was driving somewhere and on his way home he stopped to get it.

It isn't expensive. It isn't fancy. He didn't wrap it or make a big ceremony over giving it me. But what he did is, he turned aside from a busy work day. He went out of his way to go into a store he wouldn't have otherwise gone into. He took at least a minute to look as silly stuff he has no interest in himself and pick out something that was about love with me in mind.

That's a huge gift. It has nothing to do with money. Money isn't what he's short on. It's time. To take the time, to get his mind off work and think of me, that's a gift.

It's the same for a phone call. He thought of me during a busy day. He took a few minutes to call.

I don't ever expect him to do that. He works so hard and he's almost never in a town that has a store with fussy things in it, our hometown has no florist. You want a box of candy? It's gonna be Milk Duds or nothing. There's no trinket shop, not even touristy things. We're on the river, our tourist shops sell bait.

And that's why the size of a gift doesn't matter to a woman, it's the time. We're all so short on it, women as well as men. It means he thought of me, even more he acted on those thoughts.

When I look at that little picture I am so touched that he took time.

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Mary Connealy is a popular and prolific author for Barbour and  Heartsong Presents. Her current releases are Petticoat Ranch and Golden Days. Add your comment to this post between now and midnight Monday, October 29, and you'll be entered in a drawing to win an autographed copy of your choice of these books.

Comments

[Cecelia Dowdy]

What a touching story. Thanks for sharing.

[Carla]

Your hubby sounds like a keeper, Mary. I have a pair of Amish dolls that my husband bought me when I was going through my Amish quilt phase. I wouldn't part with them for the world. And, you're right. He had to make an effort and think of me. He bought the dolls when he attended his aunt's funeral in Kansas. Not a time when I would necessarily be the first thing on his mind. I think I'll keep my hubby, too.

[Mary Connealy]

Wow, rereading this made me all misty.
Hi, Cecelia. We sat next to each other somewhere at ACFW but I'll be darned if I can remember when or where. At a meal maybe??? A session???

[Anna Taylor Sweringen]

Mary,

I'm still deep sighing after your post. It reminded me of something my husband did for me while we were still dating. I love Ralph Vaughn Williams, so for my birthday Micahel bought all of his symphonies on CD, hid them all around my apartment and turned it into a birthday treasure hunt.

[W]

That's so nice - it's funny because I remember it too! I think that proves your point.
I think it also shows that you don't take things for granted. I think this is one of the most valuable things that you taught us.
(That and to tie my shoes - that has come in handy)
Thanks,
Love
-W

[Mary Connealy]

It's wonderful that my post is making you think of little moments of sweetness...that took time...given you by someone you love.
Ann, I remember Ivan gave me a record years ago...yes, a record album, no tape, no CD. He knew I loved Linda Ronstadt and gave me one of her albums.
Just a little act of thoughtfulness because...he was thinking of me and knew me.
I wonder if I ever do that for him?
Hi, Wendy. You caught onto the shoe tying quick so it was no problem.
Wendy is my daughter. One of four.
They are the most amazing beautiful young women. A far greater accomplishment than any books I write.
What does that man like anyway?
Maybe it's time for some payback, huh?
Wait that sounds wrong...like revenge. :)

[Vickie]

That's so sweet, Mary, that you'd remember the circumstances around a small present like that for so long. It makes me look at small gifts in a different light. Thanks!

[Ruth Logan Herne]

Mary, you paid your kid to respond over here, too!

You are making serious money then, girlfriend!

Great post. Sentimental. Warm. Evocative.

Like you were a writer or something.

And God bless Ivan, we know what he has to deal with, and still he comes home, night after night.

God love him.

Hey, Myra, awesome guest today! Good job, kiddo!

Ruthy

[Mary Connealy]

You know I write historical fiction, right Myra. So, Ruthy showed up and of course my very first reaction???

CIRCLE THE WAGONS.

[Debby Giusti]

Ahhhh, Mary! Your post was SO romantic!!! I think I'll go kiss my hubby and tell him I love him. :)

[Cooper]

Hi Mary! When Myra gave her clues yesterday,I knew it was you! (and I don't even know the rest of the seekers) I told her you can also teach the Pythagorean Theorem to humans with the alertness of fence posts. Would that be farm language that city people might not get?:) At any rate, yes, we all vote that you keep Ivan. Wayne once gave my the book 'The Love Poems of Rumi', poetry of which I'm pretty sure I will never completely understand, but you are so correct in saying it's the giving rather than the gift!

Cooper

[Belinda Peterson]

Mary,
Yes..keep your hubby! He sounds very sweet. And I'm with you on the money thing. I told my husband I don't care about gifts, but I do like really nice cards for the holidays. It took me a couple of years, but now I get the best cards ever!! They make me cry. (I hope he reads them before he gives them to me!)
Thanks for the post. It brought a smile to my face.

[Janet Dean]

We knew Ivan was a keeper, Mary! What a lovely gift. Though it could be like a ... hint, a reminder to be patient and kind to him. No, I'm sure that wasn't his intent. ;-)

[Mary Connealy]

Hi. Karen, thanks for coming. the Love Poems of Rumi, huh? Hmmmmm
I read large sectios of The Kama Sutra once...made absolutely NO SENSE. I'm not kidding. It's all written in ... I don't know what weird style but I've got a feeling that the book isn't even about what people say it's about. It's like an ancient chinese...oh, gardening book maybe. More modern interpretations have just gone freaky on it.

And Belinda, let's just go ahead and believe he reads those cards, okay? One of those things where its best not to ask too many questions.

It's harvest time, Janet. I don't need a reminder to be patient and kind to him.
He posts it in HUGE LETTERS on the bathroom mirror.
Something along the lines of...
I'M WORKING SIXTEEN HOURS A DAY BE PATIENT AND KIND TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Julie Lessman]

Gosh, Mary, who knew you could be so sweet and sentimental??? (Answer: Anybody who reads your books!). Very nice post! But Milk Duds and bait? Come on, Mare, I'm not sure I'd go that far ... :)